Discuss the importance of changing the behavior with the children. Co-sleeping also negatively affects a child’s social development since the child is inhibited from functioning normally with peers. When kids don't benefit from the experience of looking inside themselves as a resource, they focus on external mechanisms to manage stress and anxiety. Co-sleeping can also mess with your shut-eye and prevent you from getting those 7 to 8 hours of sleep you need each night to wake up feeling restored. Most couples thrash out several issues, communicate with each other and even reinforce their bonds by making love. Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. Part of HuffPost Parenting. Recognize the severity of the problem and commit to changing it. By the time their children are 2 – 2 1/2 years old, most parents will be eager to have them sleep easily through the night in their own beds. More and more I see families in my private practice who come for help with their child's anxiety. The average age a child will stay in the ‘family bed’ is 3-4 years. For one, you are not allowing him to express himself naturally which he may not be able to since you are in the same room and on the same bed. Research shows that as babies get older, both infants and their parents tend to sleep worse when sharing a room. What’s more, room-sharing seems to increase the odds that an older baby will end up in her parents’ bed at some point during the night, which isn't safe (and which can lead to bad sleeping habits even when the risks have dropped). She ate the right foods, got sunshine, got sleep, got adjusted and got active with hiking, biking, and yoga. This was borne out by a 2006 study in Singapore where over 70% of the children participating slept with parents or another adult. Sleep deprivation impacts brain functioning in that it adds to the challenge that parents have in understanding how to change the status quo and resume control over night time and their bed. Recent studies indicate that near epidemic proportion of children are co-sleeping with parents today. However, in most Western countries, the practice of co-sleeping with children is frowned upon and considered emotionally unhealthy. 6. Co-sleeping with older children can be especially detrimental as it can create stress for the entire family, lead to poor sleep patterns for both parents and children, and inhibit the ability of children to develop independence. Psychologist, family therapist, realitonship strategist, parent coach, mom, divorcee, media person, professional life-lover. “We’ve resisted co-sleeping, particularly with our middle child who is scared of the dark, as I know it would lead to him coming in every night," she explained. While sharing a bed might ease pressures on families while children are very young, the habit of co-sleeping can pose problems as children mature. Here's why sharing a bed is not the best strategy. While the co-sleeping children were younger than those who slept alone, the mean age of the co-sleepers was nine years. Co-Sleeping With Older Children Creates A Developmental Delay. The long haul: Most kids have their own personality and continuing to sleep with your kid till he is well into his teens is a recipe for disaster. While many times parents own anxiety interferences with their ability to set limits with an anxious child at bedtime, the reasons parents allow older children to co-sleep are complex and not completely understood. 10 Negative Effects of Co Sleeping. According to Parenting's MomConnection, a surprising 45% of moms let their 8- to 12-year-olds sleep with them from time to time, and 13% permit it every night. That’s because the older children are, the better their ability to extricate themselves from possible entrapment or suffocation. 3. For example, have friends or relatives who are not part of the negative cycle put the children to bed at night. Other terms, such as bed-sharing or sleep-sharing have also been used. This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. 2. The Best Sleeping Arrangement for You and Your Infant In addition to the obvious stress on the marital relationship, the physiological and psychological well-being of parents are compromised after years of living without a restful night of sleep. Co-Sleeping With Your Baby Is Risky. In western societies, children are often encouraged to sleep separately, with their own rooms’ right from the time they are newborn infants. She even played tennis! 6. If you co-sleep, this might make you nervous, although it’s worth noting that the results conflict with a few other studies that have been done in the past, which found no increase in mental health or behavioral problems in children who co-sleep (though they did … Co-sleeping can be a controversial discussion and there are many articles online giving you conflicting information about the benefits of co-sleeping as well as some worrying information and blogs that are against it altogether. "Location is not as important as relationships—how parents build attachment and love," says James McKenna, Ph.D., an anthropologist specializing in infancy and development and director of the mother/baby behavioral sleep laboratory at the University of Notre Dame in South Bend, Ind. psychological effects of co sleeping. Required fields are marked *. Here are 6 actions that parents can take to break the co-sleeping cycle: 1. Especially if there are so many positive aspects of it? 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